How Do Friends Treat You?

There’s no problem that friends cannot confront, combat, plot against, ignore, make fun of, drown in chocolate sauce or run over with the car.

Years ago I had a cancer therapist who warned me of friends who would be there for me; then one day, poof, they might be gone. Not my friends! I wanted to scream. However, that sad little saying might just be true.

My gang of pals has come, gone, shifted, evolved, changed and some friends, SW says, “Have turned into comets.” Here today, gone the next and may not be seen for another 75 years! I do what I am able to reach out. It is not easy for me to do this with 8-years of NSCLC and treatment under my belt. Usually a micro-sized text message can be sent and received, but a reply back with an endless supply of questions is too much for this gal to process. Keep things short and sweet, please.

Those of you who have joined my posse or who are still here…



About kimmywink

I'm Kim. I've got advanced lung cancer. It sucks.
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12 Responses to How Do Friends Treat You?

  1. Paula Berwick says:

    Although we have never met, please consider me a friend! I think of you often and am always glad to hear anything from you. I’m hoping you are feeling better!

  2. Alison says:

    No, YOU are effin’ awesome! πŸ˜‰πŸ˜˜

  3. Carter Smith says:

    Hi Kim! Your comment definitely rang true, and did so on multiple levels. I remember how many friends disappeared during Terri’s battle with cancer. I also remember how many friends shifted, or evolved, or disappeared altogether after her passing as well. And then I also reflect upon not just being on the cancer side of things, or the widower side of things, but on the friendship side of things as well. How good a friend have I been to my friends with cancer? How good a friend have I been to my widowed friends? Have I been just as guilty of “cometing” as others were towards Terri and I? And then I think of you specifically, Kim. How many times have I messaged you in the past few years? I know we weren’t super duper closest friends or anything, but through our time together in that cancer support group, and through doing that workshop together, and due to all the wonderful help you and SW provided for Terri’s service… well, I consider you a friend, and there’s still a connection there, one forged over tears and vulnerabilities and far deeper real life stuff than so many of my other so called friendships were built on. And yet still I ask myself, how many times have I messaged or reached out? Have I become a comet too? Anyway, mostly I just wanted to say that I’m still out here thinking about you, still caring and rooting for you and sending thoughts in your direction.
    ( But perhaps on your end, you’re just quietly wondering “Carter who???” πŸ™‚ )

    • kimmywink says:

      Hello Mr. Carter- One question for you today- Who are you??? Just kidding…
      Please, continue to read and post comments that you feel are helpful for me, yourself, and other people reading here. You never know what the results can be. Also, death always stinks no matter what phase you happen to be in today. xoxo Kim

  4. Kristi P says:

    I know S from college days in NC & have been following you for years. I want to thank you for your posts & that they’ve helped me thru the years when my mom was diagnosed with liver disease & to understand even more the strength it takes to fight. You are awesome & you have friends in NC thinking about you both. πŸ’—

    • kimmywink says:

      Hello Kristi- Thanks for posting a comment on this blog. I’m happy to read what people take away, for good or bad. All of it helps me or another reader.
      Wish you happy days! xoxo Kim

  5. lomarkor says:

    Kim: You are awesome! You really help me keep things in perspective. 8 years of treatments, procedures, challenges and advances. All along, allowing us to journey with you.
    Since Jan. 2nd, I’ve had two surgeries for squamous cell cancer (right temple and lymph node in right parotid gland). Now into my 3rd week or 6 weeks of radiation treatments.
    I will never complain or ask why me? It is what it is and I am in good hands. My challenges are much smaller than what you have overcome!
    Life is precious and too short to sweat the small stuff! Stay positive and keep moving forward. Mark

    • kimmywink says:

      Hello lomarkor, I’m glad this blog is providing some help to you and maybe others. I see things a tiny bit differently. Complain away if you need too. Then move on to happier times that you can laugh about. Express yourself. Be bold, be different, and be you.

      xoxo Kim

  6. Melanie says:

    Your back! That was a long hiatus. Friends, yup, not too many left. Sometimes I feel like a monk.

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