Days like today, I often try to “do”. Why? Do I like to torture myself?
Waking up feeling a few steps shy of miserable, I immediately cleared my calendar. That one engagement, my weekly writing circle that brings me immense joy, needed to be crossed off my list.
Finally, I am learning when I need to say no to my own wants and desires. Rest when I need to rest; be active when the body is in good working order.
This week is scheduled to be my last week on decadron/dexamethasone (dex). I’m on a fraction of what I’ve been on for the last several months. My body screams, equally from withdrawal and discomfort caused by the steroid. I have a textbook love/hate relationship with dex. Love that it controls my brain swelling and hate what it does to the rest of my body.
However, today I did good. I allowed myself to do very little. Pretty much I made myself lunch. I’m not going to beat myself up for it later either. I’m not lazy. I’m not unproductive. I am simply Kim, who happens to feel like poo today.
…and honestly the lunch was quite lovely.