Days Like Today

Days like today, I often try to “do”.  Why?  Do I like to torture myself?

Waking up feeling a few steps shy of miserable, I immediately cleared my calendar. That one engagement, my weekly writing circle that brings me immense joy, needed to be crossed off my list.

Finally, I am learning when I need to say no to my own wants and desires. Rest when I need to rest; be active when the body is in good working order.

This week is scheduled to be my last week on decadron/dexamethasone (dex).  I’m on a fraction of what I’ve been on for the last several months.  My body screams, equally from withdrawal and discomfort caused by the steroid.  I have a textbook love/hate relationship with dex. Love that it controls my brain swelling and hate what it does to the rest of my body.

like Oprah I love breadHowever, today I did good. I allowed myself to do very little. Pretty much I made myself lunch. I’m not going to beat myself up for it later either. I’m not lazy. I’m not unproductive. I am simply Kim, who happens to feel like poo today.

 

…and honestly the lunch was quite lovely.

About kimmywink

I'm Kim. I've got advanced lung cancer. It sucks.
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10 Responses to Days Like Today

  1. Holly Pruett says:

    As yes, my superfit Dad was transformed into the Michelin Man by decadron – but oh how helpful it was to keep seizures at bay. So many icky tradeoffs available through the miracle of modern medicine. Speaking of miracles, that lunch you made is GORGEOUS! And, look, here you are, WRITING. To us! I’m sure your group missed you but, lucky us, we got you in our in boxes. Here’s to Simply Kim, taking good care of herself.

  2. katycv says:

    not beat myself up? that never occurred to me. Thank you for your good example! That lunch looks delicious

  3. Alison says:

    Someone smarter than me, whose name I’m failing to remember right now, said, “how lovely it is to do nothing and then rest after.” 🙂 Good for you for taking care of yourself today. Love you!

  4. Exactly , lay back and relax Kim. My dad is in town and we are both in love with Lifetime movie Network cheesy movies, I highly recommend this for you today! Love and miss seeing you!

  5. dearmaizie says:

    I don’t know you, but I think about you so often and love it when I see (via email follow) that you’ve posted.

    • kimmywink says:

      Thank you Dearmaizie.
      I do wish I had the energy and focus to post more….soon…I am hopeful that a spunky Kim ready to write (or type) is not too far away. 🙂

  6. Melanie says:

    I don’t know you either, but you sure post things that I myself am feeling and I very much heart you. xox

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