I was all in my head!  So much pressure. Excruciating amounts of pain.  Dizzy. Nausea. Vomiting …and some.

Hours later, post admittance to the neurology ICU, the pain killer + steroid blend had me feeling quite  chilled out. Not exactly the way I intended to spend an early Saturday morning.

Countless medical staff and a handful of scans kept SW and I confined to a short stay in a  hospital sweet. Eventually, release was granted under the premiss that I’d be returning for surgery in my brain in 2-days.

Deliriously packing,  the call to tell me what time to check in appeared on my phone.   Huddled around the speakerphone, SW and I listened to Dr Ciporen, Director of surgical neuro-oncology at OHSU, inform me that for now, with today’s scan results, and my brain swelling symptoms being managed by steroids I would not be getting surgery tomorrow.  Ok. That is good. My radiation necrosis does not require removal, at this time.

My favorite. Watch and wait.  Reevaluate after next MRI.

Instinctively upon ending the call I crawled into bed. It’s all on pause. The daze came.

Coming down from not having surgery is a new challenge to face. Best no show date ever….  An emotional burden I still carry.  My headaches are nonexistent and in a few weeks I’ll be off steroids.

For now, I miss sleeping.