I prepared a well thought out speech and delivered it at Genentech earlier this month. I walked away unsure how it was received. Why? How could I not tell if people liked it or not? I’ve been told by many it was a job well done. Why do I doubt myself? Why do I doubt the feedback?
I feel like I need constant reassurance. What I am doing is right, right? Yelling at the lazy contractor on the phone was not out of line, right? Not trusting people that should not be trusted is the right way to go, right? I know what the answers are. Why don’t I trust myself? Why am I being the version of myself who allows someone else to pick the Cranium answer when I’m fairly confident that they are wrong? Ugh! Just like then, I am annoyed at myself. How do I stop this cycle?
I know I’m supposed to look at this as a way to grow and have a better understanding about myself. But I’d really rather find a way to crumble it all up and toss it in the recycle bin. Move on and be my normal happy self!