I’m Mad at Cancer WITH You

The crizotinib was delivered last Saturday afternoon.  Whew!  Even better is I only had to pay the remaining $900+ of my prescription out-of-pocket max for the bottles.  I did order more than one bottle (each additional only costs me $20).  To be prepared if I don’t end up switching therapy as planned in mid-February and so I don’t have to go through this fiasco next month.  This issue was resolved just-in-time.  I could take the focus off myself and observe what was going on around me.  What did I see?  Madness.

Relationships are formed when two people have a common bond.  Now that I have caner I have many relationships with others who too have cancer.  The big-fat-bummer is, when things are bad they are often pretty bad.  I’m not talking about the cold I’ve been complaining about for several weeks now either.  Bigger things.  Life and death things.

I’m very mad at cancer right now.  A girlfriend texted to say her brain spots were multiplying.  I met with a friend with such advanced ovarian cancer that I know I’m never going to see her again.  Brought a support group member a meal last night who was in need of a night off.  Today, I’ll be spending a few hours at the hospital comforting a friend who’s life might be touched again by cancer.  Damn.  Damn.  Damn.

stupid cancerSo….cancer….I’m mad at you.  Times like this I pull out my arsenal of pins so I can express myself without shouting my frustrations to the world.  Yesterday, I wore “Stupid Cancer” on my sweatshirt.  I feel that one might be appropriate today too.

About kimmywink

I'm Kim. I've got advanced lung cancer. It sucks.
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5 Responses to I’m Mad at Cancer WITH You

  1. istroud says:

    Are “Stupid Cancer” pins and shirts and other merchandise a thing? If not, can they be? I like it much better than pearls and pink ribbons, since it actually expresses how I feel! Or maybe “(Expletive) Cancer.”

  2. matissebradford says:

    That does sound like a Fiasco, sheesh. Those people are lucky to have you for support Kim. I think they really appreciate the “relationship” they have with you right now. xo xo

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