Just over a year ago I stopped working.  After I tossed in the towel, I was granted “disability retirement” because of my Stage 4 NSCLC diagnosis.  And, no, no one should be envious of my “retirement” status.

In my basement I had stacks of old work stuff, from projects I worked on, to lists of industry contacts.  All good things for people in the workforce to keep.

Days ago, I made the decision to get rid of all the old work crap.  All of it gone.  It was sad at first.  I’m not sure how but tossing the paperwork symbolized giving up on living.  Am I accepting disability forever?

I eventually worked things out in my head.  Decided that IF I am able to go back to work, it will be a different line of work.  I won’t need to know who the utility relocations manager for the gas company is. At least I hope not, because I tossed it!

About kimmywink

I'm Kim. I've got advanced lung cancer. It sucks.
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9 Responses to Recycling

  1. hi kimmywink- i think there is something liberating to tossing out all the old that we have accumulated and really is not relevant towards life in its present form- it allows for a place for all the new things we have experience to be stored- both physically and spiritually–neil

  2. naomits says:

    Good for you! It’s hard to get rid of old papers from school or work, but don’t you feel lighter without them?

    Hope the party was fun this past weekend! Sorry to have missed it.


    • kimmywink says:

      I feel so much lighter without them! Plus, it now feels like I took some of the decision making back. I’m choosing to toss out the work stuff because I don’t want it. Not the other way around…

      I missed seeing you at the gathering too.

  3. gwendolyn says:

    i agree with the others – i often make a point of letting go of things that actually dont serve me now just to see if i will miss them when they are gone and find out surprisingly or maybe not so surprisingly that i don’t. you tossing them doesnt mean you lost anything, love, g

    ani difranco has this wonderful song verse:
    let’s go over to the window
    and sit in the neon light
    let’s go out walking
    you know, it’s garbage night
    let’s go down to the east river
    and throw something in
    something we can’t live without
    and then let’s start again

  4. Okay, now come help me!


  5. Paula says:

    Good for you! It’s very hard to say goodbye to some of your past. BUT, it’s also very liberating. Just another step to a different present and future. I like the song verse Gwendolyn included. It makes me want to go home and throw out more stuff! Love, Paula

    • kimmywink says:

      You are correct! I think enough time had past where it felt liberating.
      You, in particular, might want to consider selling your stuff instead of tossing it. 🙂
      Love you!

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