Honesty, Orange, Baseball


No, I don’t have breast cancer.

My radiation oncologist gave me three words to remember at our first appointment.  It’s a silly game to see if I’m suffering from any memory loss. He switched up the words at the last appointment. I wonder if he will remember that?

One of the first set of words is honesty.  That very important word…honesty.

I take pride in being a self declared tough cookie.  I take equal amount of pride in the fact that I’ve learned how to properly lean on other people when I need it.  Sitting in my radiation oncologist appointment last week, it was that time.

I expressed to Dr H an honest, deep rooted fear of mine.  I am worried about getting too focused on local treatment and loosing my opportunity to get started on a strong systemic treatment.  What that means is…I’m worried about having this disease rapidly start growing in my body (neck down) while I’m busy zapping my brain again.  I’ve witnessed people loosing the upper-hand.  I’m quite certain it will be how I go.  (Yup, deep rooted fear.)  I just don’t want that to be now.

Dr H was receptive and responsive.  I am confident, he will do all in his power, to help relieve my fears.  It was well worth the risk to share.

About kimmywink

I'm Kim. I've got advanced lung cancer. It sucks.
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11 Responses to Honesty, Orange, Baseball

  1. randy broad says:

    Hang in there Kimmy…you’re a brave soul.

  2. linnea11 says:

    You look beautiful Kimmy. And brave and strong. And smart.


  3. Jamie says:

    Candid conversations are the only way to go on this path, Kimmy. Good for you for speaking up. I am happy to read you are planning another Hawaii trip. It’s good for the soul! xxoo

    • kimmywink says:

      You are so correct on Hawaii!

      I find my candidness makes me standout in traditional social situations. I don’t mind much making it awkward. It’s good for people, right?

      Wishing you beautiful blooms!

  4. Jessica says:

    I’m very proud of you – as a friend and fellow patient. ::hug::

  5. Honesty…..it serves us well on this rocky path. Oranges and baseball might have their role as well! Lots of love, marcy

  6. Patrick says:

    Kim so far I can honestly say my scariest moment was post radiation and my best moment was as bran radiation halted the metastatic headaches … “honestly” the best of possible words, thank you for the head’s up

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