Spots or Dots?

What a week!  I was quite concerned with what the brain MRI was going to show.  The scan took place on Wednesday; results would be discussed at my Thursday appointment.

The results are in and processed by my little noggin.  Finally, I am accepting the good news as good news – all of the spots are shrinking to dots.  I wanted them gone though.  Gone!  Gone!  Gone!  And never to return!  Not the case.

I came to the conclusion yesterday that I’m moving into the “Art of Cancer Treatment” category.  Perhaps, I was already in this space; awareness can easily be obstructed when you’re stressed out.  Things are not black and white.  The treatment plans are based on best guesses, hunches, or maybe results from 30 previous patients.  I was introduced to a new “treatment rule” yesterday that made me pleased – when your patient is 36 some rules get tossed out the window.

What I do next for the lung and the brain is TBD.  I could transition the LDK trial in Seattle.  I could get a few booster zaps in my brain for the remaining larger dots.  My hand picked team of amazing oncologists will put their heads together and present me with a plan at the end of July.

I’m not built for unknown.  It can drive me mad.  To help avoid the madness, I’ve got some distractions planned…hosting a party and going to a music concert are already on the books.  I don’t want to regret not living while I’m still alive.

About kimmywink

I'm Kim. I've got advanced lung cancer. It sucks.
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10 Responses to Spots or Dots?

  1. Jessica says:

    Why do they need 2 months to come up with a plan?! What are you doing in the meantime – more criz?

    I’m glad your spots are dots. I know it’s not what you wanted, but the good news is that there is improvement! xo

    • kimmywink says:

      Sorry Jessica, I could have been more clear. I’m on a two-month plan for crizotinib (based on the lung). I did not have too much growth last time…I’m trying to eek out as much time on criz as possible.

  2. Sharon Wierwille says:

    I am with you. It takes a lot of time to make the spots go away, as the brain has to dissolve them, and the dots could be scar tissue. I have been on LDK since March.

  3. I like the voice of experience that Sharon has to offer. Who knew that you who fear a loss of TIME now needs to grant just that to the teeny dots? Yes, living w.this uncertainty sucks. Your stage IV comrade, marcy

  4. matissebradford says:

    Shrinkage yes! xoxoxoxoxo

  5. Jennifer Lembach says:

    Glad to hear the spots are dots!!! good news indeed!!! Sending big hugs your way!

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