Got Milk?

The last few weeks my productivity level has been sub-subpar.  I was working hard at trying to define the culprit.  Well, after meeting with three docs last week, the culprit was obvious to everyone but me.  WBR wears a person out and will for up to several months, I was told.  OK then.  Got it.  Check-check.  Moving on.  Sure thing…

photo-55Just because I figured out what was causing the problems life did not magically transition to being full of butterflies and rainbows.  I got mad.  I am still mad.  I’m mad at needing WBR.  I’m mad at feeling crappy because of it.  I’m mad at what this stupid cancer has done to me all over again.  Let’s not forget all the other people out there in my same shoes, or in shoes worn a little thinner.

Yesterday, I let my anger power me to the grocery store on foot.  Perhaps, not the wisest decision.  Once I saw my house in the distance, tears swelled up.  I made it.  I made it with the items on my list and one additional item, a half-gallon of milk.

About kimmywink

I'm Kim. I've got advanced lung cancer. It sucks.
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9 Responses to Got Milk?

  1. Ruth Ashton says:

    Hang in there, kiddo. Sometimes I find those angry moments pretty cathartic. *Fist raised in cancer solidarity – Ruthie

  2. bitty says:

    Kim, if I had any extra oomph, I’d run out now and FedEx you a package! Unfortunately, I’m right there with you. At least the weather’s getting nicer. If I had started WBR at the beginning of winter instead of the end, I’m pretty sure I would have become a total mole creature. Hang in there, lady, and don’t overdo it. Go pour yourself a nice tall glass of milk (?) and hugs to you!

    • kimmywink says:

      True about the timing of WBR. I did not even consider that – I would have taken up residence in bed 24-7 instead of my 20-7.

      Hope your able to have a good day! xoxo

  3. Patrick says:

    Had to smile about your ‘gallon of milk’. When I had lung cancer surgery my thoracic surgeon and physical therapist conspired with my daughter to identify all house hold items, groceries, etc that weighed more than 5 lbs. I felt emasculated and started walking and walking and walking without weight eventually achieving 5K a day

    • kimmywink says:

      Thanks for sharing your story Patrick. Also, I’m sad to hear about Bob. Borrowing the words from my 19-year-old niece – I hope cancer gets cancer. Then dies.

  4. Mark Hawkins says:

    Kim: I will not pretend that I can imagine what you are going thru, but I can sympathize. Luckily, months of affects should end in the middle of summer! More energy to accompany those sunny days ahead! And when you walk back from the store, you will be carrying a whole gallon of milk and a cherry Slurpie! Hang in there dear Kim, brighter, and more energetic, days are coming!
    Take care. Mark H.

  5. We need to be better to ourselves, easier, this disease, the treatments, wow! I’m finally home after a week in ICU for the craniotomy#2, I could write a book but I’m too damn tired. xox

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