My Friend Kurt

Yesterday I got a phone call that I was expecting and dreading.  My friend called to tell me that her husband, Kurt, past away earlier that day.  I was speechless.  Somehow I managed to eek out, “Thank you for calling.  Goodbye.”

I was out on a bike ride when I got the call.  Oddly, I had just stopped to get a drink of water and noticed the view.  It was quite lovely.  I took my phone out to snap a picture…

…and a second later the phone rang.  I cried after getting the news.

This is the first close friend that I’ve watched die in my life.  It was horrible no matter what way you look at it.  He is no longer in pain but still snatched away far too early in his life.

We only knew one another for about 10 months but the relationship was a strong one from the get go.  Both of us young and diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.  That was our bond.

I’ll never forget my first phone conversation with Kurt, who at the time was a complete stranger.  He seriously asked me if I was constipated and how I dealt with it.  Constipation?  I squirm when my pharmacist talks about constipation and now a man who I am going to meet for coffee in a few days is asking me about constipation?  WTF world am I in?

We talked about all things openly, I mean all. Kurt got me talking about subjects I would not comfortably discuss with my husband.  As I look back on it, he was coaching me.  He would be proud to know that SW and I now do discuss constipation among other hush-hush subjects.

I am going to miss my friend so much.  I hate cancer for stealing him away from his lovely wife, son, extended family, friends, and me.

My positive scan results make me happy.  I can’t help but add- for now.  I am on the same path as Kurt and others with stage 4 lung cancer.  Maybe one day a cure will be found.  I wish I was able to speed up that process.

About kimmywink

I'm Kim. I've got advanced lung cancer. It sucks.
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13 Responses to My Friend Kurt



  2. Diane Fink says:

    I’m sorry to hear about your friend Kurt. May his family find peace and comfort. Sometimes there are no words… this was that time. The pic you snapped is lovely, I believe something, someone larger than we are had you at that place in time to see a lovely site and stop to appreciate it, before the bad news, it is what I believe. It is strange how we can meet people and be able to discuss anything, to have a connection. I’m glad you met Kurt, even if for a short time……. Take care, another Kim experience I’m glad you shared with us !

  3. linnea11 says:

    Aw Kim, I was dreading this as well. I am so sorry–for you and for Kurt, Jamie and their son. It is a double edged sword getting close to others with advanced lung cancer. We get so very much from our cut to the chase closeness, but it just really, really hurts when one of us goes. Carry him in your heart; as tragic, difficult and (not to be overlooked) frightening as it is, this loss will ultimately strengthen your own resolve to keep fighting cancer.

    with love,

    • kimmywink says:

      Being at this for 7+ years I value your perspective. You are correct- I feel pretty determined to do all that I possibly can to fight cancer.

      Again, thanks for the email address correction. What a time to screw up! I know… I still need to let it go… 🙂

  4. Tracy Lucas says:

    Kim, so, so sad to hear about Kurt. What a beautiful scene you were noticing before the call. There must be a reason. We are with you and so glad you had him as a friend. Xoxo, T

  5. Melanie says:

    Sorry Kim, it really is impossible to understand why. I’ve given up trying. So much cancer. The list of people that I pray for everyday just gets longer and longer.

    • kimmywink says:

      I wonder if I am only now aware of how much cancer exists around me because I have it. LIke getting a new car- you then start to see the same make and model all over the place.

  6. Jennifer Lembach says:

    Oh no Kim, I am so sorry about this terrible news. I am so glad you have made friends who are experiencing the same thing as you. It must be doubly hard to lose one of them. Sending a big hug your way.

  7. Pingback: Moving Through | Aquarius vs. Cancer

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