I’m a fan of direct- to the point communication. When people ask a question, I give them my answer. Thankfully, softening responses came with age.
During calm parts of my day I have been revisiting the reactions I get from people when I talk about my cancer and how it impacts my life.
The other day some friends were discussing turning 40. I blurted out, “Man, I so badly want to live to 40. If I do, I’m having one kick ass party!” It is the honest truth. Living 6 years with advanced lung cancer is quite an accomplishment- I’m going to be thrilled if/when it happens.
The eyes and head tilt I get in response clearly tell me, “Oh Kim, don’t talk like that….you’re going to be 40. Stop it.”
I feel isolated from the well people in the world. If I am expected to modify what I say to people I will only feel more isolated.
I am not going for shock value. People often express their hopes and dreams to others like, “Gosh, I really want that new Audi S5 Convertible.” My hope and dream is simply to live 5 or more years.