I was turned onto a course called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction for People Healing from Cancer by a bright friend of mine who also has cancer. I’ve completed 7 of the 9 classes. A complete review of the course will wait until all classes are finished. To date I’m quite satisfied; the instructor Kimberly Carson is excellent.
The gist of this class is mindfulness-meditation. We do a lot of meditation. I mean A LOT. So far the meditation forms practiced include laying, sitting, yoga, and walking. Hands down my favorite practice is yoga…Yam likes it too.
Yesterday (Sunday the 10th) I completed a 7-hour silent meditation class. (Even the 1-hour lunch break was silent eating.) I went into the day of meditation with much resistance. Flat out, I did not want to go. I did a good job at coming up with reasons to not go, excuses. In the end I reluctantly went to class.
One thing in particular that made me want to skip is I have a big scary black hole in my head. Picture a bakers box labeled “Lung Cancer- Terminal”. I think I’ve addressed this skeleton but had I? I did not want to go down this rabbit hole, one more time.
I successfully made it though class. Success was measured by the fact that I could remember where I parked my auto when it was done. As expected, a range of emotions surfaced. I was pleased when thoughts of death and dying arose, I did not panic. I even briefly, very briefly, acknowledge my thoughts on possible brain and bone metastases – things that scare the shit out of me – without a freak out.
You should all now sit silently for 10 minutes – sans cell phone, book, computer, etc… Now imagine that multiplied by 42. That was my Sunday.