I was turned onto a course called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction for People Healing from Cancer by a bright friend of mine who also has cancer.  I’ve completed 7 of the 9 classes.  A complete review of the course will wait until all classes are finished.  To date I’m quite satisfied; the instructor Kimberly Carson is excellent.

The gist of this class is mindfulness-meditation. We do a lot of meditation.  I mean A LOT.  So far the meditation forms practiced include laying, sitting, yoga, and walking. Hands down my favorite practice is yoga…Yam likes it too.

Yesterday (Sunday the 10th) I completed a 7-hour silent meditation class.  (Even the 1-hour lunch break was silent eating.)  I went into the day of meditation with much resistance.  Flat out, I did not want to go.  I did a good job at coming up with reasons to not go, excuses.  In the end I reluctantly went to class.

One thing in particular that made me want to skip is I have a big scary black hole in my head.  Picture a bakers box labeled “Lung Cancer- Terminal”.  I think I’ve addressed this skeleton but had I?  I did not want to go down this rabbit hole, one more time.

I successfully made it though class.  Success was measured by the fact that I could remember where I parked my auto when it was done.  As expected, a range of emotions surfaced.  I was pleased when thoughts of death and dying arose, I did not panic.  I even briefly, very briefly, acknowledge my thoughts on possible brain and bone metastases – things that scare the shit out of me – without a freak out.

You should all now sit silently for 10 minutes – sans cell phone, book, computer, etc… Now imagine that multiplied by 42.  That was my Sunday.