Writings about Death

When a person with cancer dies, people write things like,  “Joe lost his long battle with liver cancer”, or “after many years of fighting Suzie finally succumbed to her brain cancer last Saturday, at home, with her family by her side.”

I’ve never read anything like, “John lost a thirteen step battle with gravity after falling down the stairs at work”, or “Janet lost a head-to-head fight with a semi-truck on I-5 over the weekend”.

The fight, the battle is only mentioned when it is cancer.  Why?  Or, am I only noticing this because I have cancer.  Is it a battle I am having with my cancer if I’ve accepted that an unfortunate natural process is running amok in my body?  We all perform actions everyday to get us through to tomorrow.  Is that fighting or living?

About kimmywink

I'm Kim. I've got advanced lung cancer. It sucks.
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8 Responses to Writings about Death

  1. Melanie says:

    I completely agree. I recently spoke very similar words to my family. I’m just doing what the doctors tell me to do. I don’t feel like I’m battling or fighting. I lay on a table and get zapped, before that I uncovered my port for chemo, before that I was put to sleep to have a brain tumor removed. The only battle right now is trying to stay awake. (regardless, something tells me you are someone who relishes a battle. Could be the name of your blog. Aquarius VS Cancer implies a battle!)

  2. linnea11 says:

    I’m one of those who embraces the term warrior. Because, truth is, I do feel like I’ve been fighting for my life for some time now. But it is complicated, because the ‘enemy’ is in fact part of my own DNA that, as you say, has run amok. Normally I am a person who believes in talking things out and finding a solution that way, but cancer can’t be reasoned with and is hell-bent on destruction. And the part that really, really makes me mad, is why? The end result will be annihilation; not just for me, the host here, but for the unwanted ‘guest’, the cancer. That’s just pain dumb.

    Linnea

  3. Helena Abernathy says:

    If death happens in an instant like in a car accident it is no battle. Cancer is a long drawn out battle to try to overcome an ailien invasion of your body. Us who have not been diagnosed with anything are still battling to try to avoid getting hit, but it is more to maintain a status quo or to improve health with little strides than trying to battle to kill something. So life is a battle for everyone if they care at all, but the people with cancer are on the front lines in more danger!

    • kimmywink says:

      I certainly do feel like I’ve been invaded by an alien. Which is odd because at times when I’m around others I feel like the alien. Go figure….

  4. The worst is the implication that those who died might have fought harder in the “battle.” Crazy talk. Just found your blog and am looking forward to reading more. Any you’re right, being diagnosed sucks, especially so young. I’ve got almost a decade on you but still feel way too young to have been handed this mess.

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