My first internal thoughts were…
What do I do for fun? Fun…fun…fun… But, I’m not having any fun? Do people think I have time for having fun? I want my old life back. None of this is fun. Having cancer sucks and choosing to get rid of your cancer sucks even more.
What I said out loud was similar to…
I don’t really have time or energy for fun. I spend all my limited energy on activities directly related to eating, sleeping, walking, and healing. I listed off the following few examples: (either in my head or out loud- chemo brain does not always know the difference.)
- My chest & back are so dry & burnt I spend at least 30 mins each day applying lotions.
- My nails, scalp, face, and neck are damaged by the chemo & related medications I spend 45 mins each evening cleansing, polishing, and nourishing.
- My teeth, mouth, and throat are damaged by chemo & radiation; I carefully and meticulously clean multiple times a day for about an hour each day.
- Daily I track my temperature, medication schedule, in & out fluids, aches & pains, amount of walking, amount of sleep, etc. I submit this information to my oncology nurses; this takes about an hour each day.
- My muscles & joints are sore, I spend about 3 hours a week self massaging and/or taking epsom salt baths.