Irkiness

This morning our household received an Emergency Warning on our cell phones stating Portlanders are encouraged to stay home to avoid snow and ice.  Snow and ice are not things we are used to here in the city.  I’m less used to being cooped up at home.  I don’t go and do things every day but I dislike the feeling of being trapped.

This morning after putting several ingredients in the slow cooker which will turn into a wonderful zippy chili in 9 hours, I pulled out my laptop and began perusing the internet. Mind you, I’m already cranky.

A consistent thing I was reading made me irked.  It could be because I’m in a bit of a cancer-world-limbo.  I’m reading tails of cancer survivors who are attributing their NEDness or Cure to being tough, strong, a fighter to the end, etc.  Seriously?  I think it’s a load of crap.  Yup, crap!

People who are strong, fighters, warriors, willing to do what ever it takes, etc. are that way if they have cancer, had cancer, or will never have cancer.  Plenty of strong fighters are killed by cancer everyday.

About kimmywink

I'm Kim. I've got advanced lung cancer. It sucks.
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12 Responses to Irkiness

  1. I agree Kim wholeheartedly…why would you want to ‘fight’ something that can kick your ass every day of every week. I never have agreed with the mindset of ‘fighting it’. Same as losing the ‘battle’. To me, it’s bullshit..

    Shortly following my diagnosis, I shifted my mindset to embrace the cancer, live-with it, and choose it over it choosing me. Fighting, battling, combating, clashing, etc. are ALL negative thought processes. Embracing and living-with the opposite. I’ve been NED 5 years since completion of my yearlong treatment. Statistically speaking, approx. 8% live five years with inoperable stage III NSCLC. Thus, I’ll stay the course with my emotional strategy…let the fighters fight, battle, take-on, scuffle, etc…If it works for them, well great…but I’m with you, make peace not war…

  2. I appreciate Randall’s attitude but I am still a cynic. It’s all about luck. Attitude helps you cope and might add weeks, nice, but really, we are playing the lottery here and hoping that luck breaks in our favor.
    And “may the odds ever be in your favor”, dear Kim.

    Marcy Westerling

  3. Gail says:

    Couldn’t agree more. That sort of talk, particularly in reference to me, just gives me the shits.

    Gail

  4. grayconnections says:

    Yep, I second the “luck” concept. If I hadn’t been lucky enough to test ROS1 positive and get into a clinical trial that worked for me, I’d be dead now.

  5. Katie Brown says:

    I agree with you 100% Some of the most fierce and courageous people I’ve ever met have been killed by cancer dispite fighting like hell. I dislike people saying they “beat” cancer or “won”, implying that those who don’t obtain NED or remission are weak and those who have died “lost”. They didn’t “lose” a battle, they ran out of treatment options and they ran out of time. My dad ran out of time. He was the bravest and strongest person I’ve ever known and lung cancer killed him.

  6. Tori says:

    I, too, have wondered about all the military words used with regard to cancer treatment. Perhaps it is simply a result of our culture, which likes to declare war on things (war on drugs, war on poverty). Maybe it is a way to help cancer patients feel less despondent while undergoing some pretty rough treatment and side effects. Imagining oneself as a soldier might make one better able to cope with feeling miserable. Some people believe, myself included to some extent, that the mind can influence how the body responds through visualization, such as imaging the immune system battling cancer cells, or chemo destroying a tumor. Here, having some sort of war-like characters can help to create this image for meditation. Ultimately, the fact that dumb luck plays such a huge role can make a person feel really helpless. Just doing SOMETHING, even if it is simply declaring war on your cancer, can make a you feel a tiny bit of control is this horrible situation.

    • kimmywink says:

      You are correct. Doing things that make ourselves feel good, within reason of course, is extremely important. I’ve had some great visions of tiny white ninjas destroying the cancerous tumors in my body. Take that evil cancer!

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